An ABC For Lawyers

A mightily strange book came out in 1947 under the lofty auspices of Stevens & Sons Limited of London. Though it may have sold well amidst Halsbury's and Blackstone, this one had the anomaly of quasi-anonymity, being authored by a mysterious "J.P.C."

But the title was brillant and, hopefully, not trade-marked as it carried the same name of a poetic justice hallmark.

It began with the alphabet ... only this one for lawyers:

A is for arson, the firing of houses
B is for bigamy, too many spouses.
C is for caveat. Emptor beware!
D’s for defense which are counsel prepare.
E’s for extradition of chaps from abroad,
F is for felony, forgery, fraud.
G is for all the goodwill you will need,
H is for heir, who will try to succeed,
I’s for identity, plus the parade,
J’s for the juries who never get paid.
K is for kin who are sought from afar,
L is for lawyers, all sides of the bar.
M’s the mandamus, for which we have waited,
N is the nuisance as yet unabated.
O is for oath on the old or the new,
P is for paperwork, long overdue.
Q is for question which counsel will ask,
R’s the refresher he needs for his task.
S is for sacrilege, stealing from churches,
T is for title - a good one on purchase.
U is for usage, the custom of trade,
V is for view, which his Lordship has made.
W’s for wife and for woolsack and wills,
X is the sum of solicitors’ bills.
Y is the number of years you will get.
And Z is a crime that we do not know of yet.

REFERENCES:

• J.P.C., Poetic Justice (London: Stevens & Sons Ltd., 1947), page 3.