We swear by Outrageous Attorney Ads: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly and Funny Lawyer Ads, all taken from that one nation-state situated between Canada and Mexico on the North American continent - which shall remain nameless (for now).
Well, we did a little digging and some more traveling and OMG - there's MORE!
You can't wait ... we can't wait. Ladies and gentlemen, here they are: Outrageous Attorney Billboards: The Good, the Bad and the Funny.
To the Dogs
* Las Cruces, New Mexico
Robert "Tito" Meyer is a real lawyer with a real website (thepeopleslaw.com) but he once put up a billboard which he probably regrets because it doesn't say much about skills as a lawyer, relying on dogs to pick 'em. The last marketing guy a lawyer should ever hire is the lawyer himself.
But Robert did it so we can show it.
Don't Mess With Chuck
* Not sure. Norwich, Connecticut?
Just after we saw the Expendables 2, a documentary if ever there was one, we come across this attorney billboard. OK, his name really is Chuck Norris. What's a guy going to do?
But, and again not to rain on anyone's parade, but didn't Chuck Norris, the actor, hurt people?
* St. Louis, Missouri
Brown & Brown's billboard features a partner (Charles Ed Brown) wearing an eye-patch. Were it anywhere other than the USA, we'd have no suspicions about the patch being a prop.
I know! I now! It;s bad karma to speculate on these things. Oh well. And it's not a prop. Brown has been practicing law in St. Louis since 1993.
* Atlanta, Georgia
This guy (Chandler Mason) says he came up with his marketing gimmick after speaking with his wife and co-partner.
If I'm his wife, I'd not be telling anyone that.
But here's to MyBaldLawyer!
Oh, and before we forget, if you want to see some damn good Photoshop, visit his website. You've never seen a face so perfect (except for the baldness), that it seems right out of a manger in Bethlehem.
* Denver, Colorado
Burg Simpson (Michael Burg and Alan Simpson) ... when exactly did you guys concoct this billboard? I'm still scratching my head and I'm a reasonably smart guy. But far be it for me to judge:
Get da Gorilla!
Injured? Get the gorilla. I like the sound of that - try it: Injured! Get da gorillaaaa! There's so much you can do with that.
I am seeing a slight problem though. The average IQ of a gorilla is, like ... 20?
But Davis Smith is an ex-marine and his "current hobby is the study of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu....""
Oh, and: 'If you need an aggressive, experienced ... personal injury attorney, you need to get The Gorilla, Attorney Davis Smith."
OK. Got that.
The other thing I can't quite get is, with his mouth open like that and fangs bared, the gorilla looks like the lawyer I had on examination for discovery last week.
Just Plain Nasty
* Tampa, Florida
World Wrestling Federation professional wrestler, Brian Knobbs, aka Brian Yandrisovitz aka The Nasty Boy, is known for his showbiz hyped-up kiddie talk.
And the reason you'd want him on your attorney billboard is? Gary did (1800askgary.com).
Are you asking for it? What ever does that mean? We're baffled as to why anyone would do it but we feel the same way about Pamela Anderson: if someone else is prepared to do it, we're curious ... for research purposes only, of course.
And for the record, standing to be corrected as always, there actually is no "Gary" - it's a lawyer/doctor personal injury referral service.
* Houston, Texas
Cliché! And some lawyers wonder why lawyers rank below taxi-drivers in the list of most-liked professions, or why there are lawyer jokes.
This ad, like the others was either concocted by an attorney or approved by her or him. Ardoinlaw.com points to Richard Ardoin.
The other problem with sharks is that they don't really care where they are getting their flesh from and last time I saw Jaws, they can turn pretty damn quick. Just sayin'.
Some of these are so outrageous that you just want to pick up the phone and call the local bar association and report the ad as disreputable conduct. Take this for example:
Deep, Concluding Thoughts
So there you have it. As of December 2012, these are the best funny US attorney billboards as chosen by a select committee of Duhaime.org.
Many, if not all of them (depending on who you ask) ill become our profession in the minds of many and we condone not this conduct which does nothing to improve, in the minds of the public, the reputation of the profession of law.
But since it's out there, why not share it under the banner of Duhaime.org's LawFun!