For all the stress they absorb for their clients, at admittedly high rates, lawyers deserve a toast here and there, if not more often.

You know exactly the passive-aggressive gaze you will get from a lawyer if you ever stand at a social gathering, drink in hand, and propose a toast evidently directed towards the aforesaid lawyer. Especially since so many lawyers are survivors of serial lawyer jokers that we'd expect the proposal to make a toast to a lawyer to be announced as an oxymoron to the delight of the crowd.

With all humility and imposing upon ourselves an extreme level of judicial objectivity, and besides this page of course, there is no better place to find fodder for a toast to a well-deserving lawyer than LAWfun which includes Lawyer Jokes and LAWpoems. The other amazing resource for witty material are the Duhaime LAWisms which appear on every page and of which there are hundreds which rotate on a random basis.

So you are at the right place but first, some legal advice. To toast a lawyer requires careful, precise, even surgical words. You don't want to get sued for a good cause. And thus, doth we present toasts appropriate for lawyers, attorneys, solicitors and their like.

Toast to LawyersPerhaps the two most famous of words oft-used to toast barristers or lawyers, also known as attorneys or solicitors, are those of the great English bard William Shakespeare himself.

And do as adversaries in law - strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

Those words were taken from the Taming of the Shrew.

In his play Henry VI, Shakespeare use the following words which can be a perfect fit in a toast to its intended victim but beware, every lawyer in the hall will groan when this is said out loud:

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

In some social venues too cheap to have their own snooker table, this toast to a lawyer may be perfect:

To our friend who is proud of his briefs.

Other cheap lawyer toasts are:

To our lawyer who, no matter her (his) mage, is always courting.

Here's a toast to a man of great trials and many convictions.

Here's to the lawyer, a professional who rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it for himself.

On the other side of the river where the grass is greener, but barely, is this one which you have to introduce as advice you received from your lawyer:

Say it with flowers, say it with eats.
Say it with kisses, say it with sweets.

Say it with jewelry, say it with drink.
But always be careful not to say it with ink.

If alcohol is involved in the social setting, these words of the Irish poet Richard Brinsley Butler Sheridan (1751-1816) may find an approving audience.

A bumper of good liquor
Will and a contest quicker
Than justice, judge or vicar.
So fill a cheerful glass
And let good humor pass.